What really happens in marriage counselling and does it really work?
Deciding to go to couple counseling can seem a bit overwhelming. This is partly because they don't want to do free therapy on the phone, but. Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but what goes on in a couples counselling session is less about listening to the content of what people share and more about the. But does it mean something more serious is going on? Couples counselling is a psychotherapy that helps identify the problems in a.
They aren't your boss, a judge or a special expert who will tell you what to and not to do. Mostly they will ask you a lot of questions to get you to figure out what you want and how you feel.
What to Expect When You Come to Relationship Counselling?
They won't press you to make decisions or influence you to do anything you don't want to or aren't ready for. You are in the drivers seat of your life, outside the counselling office and inside it too.
They may ask about your childhood You'll talk about things that may not seem related to your difficulties.
- 'Agreeing to therapy shows that you care'
- What really happens in marriage counselling and does it really work?
Some assume that, with razor focus, they will analyse their specific issues with a therapist until they are figured out and helped. However this isn't always the case.
A counsellor may ask about your childhood, your communication styles, your past relationships, your relationship aside from the areas of friction, examples of when things were good between you and potentially many other things. The more you work with your counsellor, the more likely you will be to connect the dots of patterns that if changed, can help improve your relationship, or allow you to better understand yourself.
You will need to reflect, communicate and take responsibility A counsellor doesn't do all the work. A counsellor will ask you to think and reflect, not just react. A counsellor will ask you to share your thoughts and feelings. Even if you're not a good communicator generally, your counsellor will help you open up - but you need to be willing. You will have homework There will be times when your counsellor will give you exercises or couple activities to complete or other tasks to learn from which are designed to enhance the effectiveness of the sessions.
Instead of exposing your inner-most hopes and fears to a supportive stranger, your partner will be in the seat opposite ready to disagree, and possibly to rubbish your opinions.
He or she already knows so much about you from your day-to-day life together that laying bare your soul or secrets can leave you feeling particularly naked. There is the added fear that the truth will upset or hurt your partner and make a bad situation even worse. When I finish counselling and ask couples to look back over their therapy, most admit that, although they knew I was trained to be impartial, they feared I would side with their partner.
This is because couple counselling awakens long dormant sibling rivalry issues: In many cases, couples get an immediate short-term boost. This is partly down to a sense of relief that something is finally being done, but mainly because our partner agreeing to this ordeal is concrete proof that she or he cares.
Next, it soon becomes clear that a couple counsellor's responsibility is to the relationship and both of you will get equal time, attention and understanding. On a deeper level, couple work avoids the victim or "poor me" attitude that can be a by-product of individual therapy, which encourages people to dig deeper into their own world view.
If couples have been able to cooperate enough to set up a home together and raise a family, they soon begin to support each other through the necessary changes to their relationship. For this reason, couple counselling often needs fewer sessions than one-to-one work.
There are different types of therapy available: Relationship Counselling for London counselling4London. Couple counselling tends to work with the immediate problems, although the past is used to illuminate the present.
What relationship therapy can do for couples on the rocks | Life and style | The Guardian
Couple psychotherapy, however, starts with the deep-seated problems and by resolving these aims to alleviate any current issues. Outside London, most towns will have a Relate centre or outpost offering local couple counselling relate. Relate uses two different types of counselling philosophy: The advantage of going to these organisations is that you can guarantee the counsellors have been trained in couple work.
Unfortunately, there are many private counsellors who are qualified for individual therapy but offer couple counselling as a bolt on.
Inside a counselling session So once you have found your therapist, where does he or she start?