Top 10 Relationship Killers That Will Destroy Your Marriage
What a great couple who knows their relationship is first, then their business comes later. Steve and Steph Resale Killers on Youtube. Stephanie Kluver from It's Just Lunch shares the top five overlooked relationship killers, Jason DeRusha and Matt Brickman report (). Stephanie Denning Contributor Bezos, instead, likens the relationship between the two to a circle. Among any working person, the is a relic of times past, and anyone who attempts to work those hours is often ridiculed.
As a Professional Counselor, I see couples who come into therapy with their marriage on life-support. But their struggles often have nothing to do with the trauma of affairs, addictions, or abuse.
Instead, they are dying a rather slow and painful death. There are so many factors that can get in the way of a good marriagebut often, they are the small, unnoticed things that make their way in.
In order to make sure our marriages survive and thrive, here are some relationship killers every couple should be on the lookout for: The number one relationship stress for most couples has little to do with their relationship and much to do with the relationships they are surrounded by.
Too many marriages are struggling simply due to a lack of priorities- finding themselves pulled by everyone else in every which way, except toward each other.
Healthy marriages learn to choose one another above all others. Take the time to connect and communicate with your spouse often. From financial problems, to illness, job-loss, and grief, healthy couples allow their stress to pull them together, by relying on each other, sharing it with one another, and carrying the load together.
I read a blog post about a guy getting a divorce…except this guy chose to divorce his phone. But it makes sense, because so many of us carry this dangerous relationship killer right in our back pocket. Unplug, disconnect, shut down- and invest in your spouse. Putting someone first is an incredibly hard task because our flesh is wired to choose self.
Forgiving and forgetting are not one in the same. When we fail to realize that, we will hold on to our hurts for a very long time. Part 1 The Washington Times, October 19, By Stephanie Coontz The American family can only be described as a work in progress. The times are changing very quickly, which has resulted in the traditional family unit being questioned. By Stephanie Coontz I completely agree with Hanna Rosin on how much - and for the most part, how irreversibly - women's options and gender power relationships have changed.
By Stephanie Coontz Here we go again. Just as in the 's, some conservative moralists and pundits are trying to blame America's current economic insecurity, joblessness and social inequality on the very people most victimized by these socioeconomic trends. What signal is Marissa Mayer giving to Yahoo employees? CNN Opinion, July 19, By Stephanie Coontz The news that Yahoo knowingly chose a pregnant woman as its new CEO has rightly been heralded by working women and their allies as another hole in the glass ceiling.
Why is 'having it all' just a women's issue? CNN Opinion, June 25, By Stephanie Coontz One side accepts the author's argument: The other side accuses Slaughter, who left her job as the first female director of policy planning at the State Department, of setting women back by telling them to "rediscover the pursuit of happiness," starting at home.
Five myths about marriage The Washington Post, May 25, By Stephanie Coontz Modern Americans do put less emphasis on marriage as an institution that should organize everyone's life, but they put much more value on it as a relationship based on fairness, intimacy and fidelity. That is, paradoxically, one reason they have become more tolerant of divorce.
By Stephanie Coontz President Obama's endorsement of same-sex marriage last week was certainly historic. But it was not a historical game changer. While Obama may pay a political price for outraging the well-funded minority that passionately opposes gay marriage, he is actually swimming with a strong historical tide. By Stephanie Coontz Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is unhappy with last week's compromise over whether Catholic institutions should be required to cover contraception for their employees, arguing that birth control "shouldn't be covered by insurance at all.
The New York Times, February 11, Many people believe that, while this may be good for women as income earners, it bodes ill for their marital prospects. The data for aren't in yet, but if that decline continued last year, less than half of American adults are in a legal marriage now. Women in the Obama White House: By Stephanie Coontz Back inI was present as top leaders of two political organizations met to negotiate common actions they could take despite their differences.
One of those leaders was a woman. Over and over, she raised points for consideration, only to be ignored by both sides. Marriage evolves Newsday, June 26, By Stephanie Coontz For the past several years, we've heard predictions that legalizing same-sex unions will overturn marriage as the Western world has known it for 5, years, destroying a tried-and-true institution.
But history reveals that marriage has been an evolving arrangement throughout the centuries, remaining relevant only by adjusting to changing social norms and values. By Stephanie Coontz The flurry of publicity around Kate Middleton's decision to try being "an ordinary RAF wife" has been used by social conservatives to bolster their contention that this is the ultimate ambition of most women. By Stephanie Coontz ONE of the most enduring myths about feminism is that 50 years ago women who stayed home full time with their children enjoyed higher social status and more satisfying lives than they do today.
All this changed, the story goes, when Betty Friedan published her best seller, "The Feminine Mystique," which denigrated stay-at-home mothers. Ever since, their standing in society has steadily diminished. By Stephanie Coontz As Prince William prepares to take his oath to Kate Middleton on Friday, the ceremony will represent not only a new chapter in his life, but in the history of the monarchy.
After all, he's the first heir to the throne granted the right to freely choose his own mate on the basis of love, an ideal the rest of the Western world embraced in the late 18th century. Kennedy's Commission on the Status of Women released its findings in The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the s, with the results of a Gallup poll examining the outlook of the "typical American woman.
They were also, reportedly, deeply satisfied and quite comfortable with the idea that "the man should be number one," an outlook reinforced in many states by "head and master" laws. Stephanie is the country's foremost expert on marriage—she wrote the bestseller Marriage, a History: Like the fact that women were required by law to take their husband's name after marriage, or the insidious double standards surrounding divorce.
It's all these things we never knew about our mothers' and grandmothers' lives that make Stephanie Coontz's new book, A Strange Stirring: By Christine Whelan I am a young professor of sociology teaching classes on gender, marriage and social change -- and I have never read Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique. Why feminism was good for marriage Salon, January 12, The author of the groundbreaking s treatise "The Feminine Mystique" may have detested certain traditional values, but she clung to the fantasy of heterosexual love and marriage -- here's the key -- among equals.
In fact, Friedan once said that her tombstone should read: Gay marriage isn't revolutionary. By Stephanie Coontz Opponents of same-sex marriage worry that allowing two men or two women to wed would radically transform a time-honored institution. But they're way too late on that front. Marriage has already been radically transformed - in a way that makes gay marriage not only inevitable, as Vice President Biden described it in an interview late last year, but also quite logical.
Articles by and about author Stephanie Coontz
Economic disparity takes toll on marriage Philadelphia Inquirer, January 9, By Stephanie Coontz For 30 years, we've watched the hollowing out of the broad middle sector of America, as the gap between rich and poor widens and fewer working-class families are able to secure the living-wage jobs that once gave them a foothold in the middle class.
Studies have revealed a growing class divergence in marriage as well. Yet, surprisingly, we're finding that those who might benefit most from a two-income household are becoming the least likely to marry. By Melanie Kirkpatrick In the s, a cartoon appeared in this newspaper's "Pepper.
The drawing showed a middle-age woman—severe hairstyle, eyeglasses, hefty bosom—seated at a large desk in what appeared to be a private office. By Johanna Fateman Though The Feminine Mystique is often cited as a founding text of second-wave feminism, reading it today reveals it to be a brilliant artifact—not a timeless classic. By Stephanie Coontz Historians are notorious for savaging historical fiction. We're quick to complain that writers project modern values onto their characters, get the surroundings wrong, cover up the seamy side of an era or exaggerate its evils -- and usually, we're right.
Although we don't have -- and shouldn't seek -- the inside details, the couple says the decision was mutual and the process will be mutually supportive. Friends have told journalists that no third party was involved; the two simply grew apart. No, she is not responsible for all of our unhappiness. Slate Magazine, May 5, In the last year, Friedan's legacy has been the target of yet another round of attacks, prompted by the finding that women in the United States and most of Europe now report themselves slightly less happy and satisfied with their lives than they did 35 years earlier, while men report themselves happier now than in the past.
By Stephanie Coontz FORTY years after the first true no-fault divorce law went into effect in California, New York appears to be on the verge of finally joining the other 49 states in allowing people to end a marriage without having to establish that their spouse was at fault.
What's new with the American family? San Jose Mercury News, April 12, By Patty Fisher What's tougher on a teenager: Among women older than 40, who is more likely to be married: Which couples older than 50 have the best sex lives? By Stephanie Coontz The historical record isn't pretty. Job and income loss are strongly associated with increases in marital conflict, separation and divorce. During the Great Depression, economic hardship was so severe that many couples could not afford to divorce.
By Stephanie Coontz HALF a century ago, the conventional wisdom was that having a child was the surest way to build a happy marriage. Women's magazines of that era promised that almost any marital problem could be resolved by embarking on parenthood.
By Stephanie Coontz Husbands do it by gassing up their spouse's car. Wives do it by having a heart-to-heart confessional. As Framingham State College sociologist Virginia Rutter notes, "Both men and women value a feeling of closeness with their partner, but they get to that feeling by somewhat different routes.
Today, many social conservatives still blame Friedan and feminism for inducing women to abandon the home for the workplace, thus destabilizing families and placing their children at risk. But tabloids hoping for a juicy celebrity battle may be disappointed. In court papers filed last month, the couple announced they would conduct a collaborative divorce, pledging to be "honest, cooperative and respectful" and to put their children's interests first.
For most of Western history, they didnt, because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity.
You might think people would have seen this coming. In most of Western Europe and North America, females have been a majority of university students for the past 10 years. In the United States, they now comprise almost half the students in traditionally male fields such as law, business, and medicine. Expectations have risen, says stephanie coontz The First Post, October 8, By Stephanie Coontz A recent study shows that, on average, American men now report themselves happier than women do.
This is the opposite of what polls found in the early s, when women tended to report themselves happier than men. By Stephanie Coontz College-educated, highly successful women have long had a reputation for marrying less and having lousier sex. But in a historic reversal of past trends, these women now triumph in matrimony.
A marriage historian explains. By Stephanie Coontz Over the past seven years, two small changes in the participation of mothers in the workforce have generated almost as much attention as the initial entry of wives and mothers into the working world in the s. By Stephanie Coontz As married couples become a minority, our correspondent argues that the best way to keep a marriage strong and healthy is to retain a close network of friends.
Now, for the first time, married-couple households are a minority in both the UK and the US, outnumbered by single-person households and cohabiting couples.
By Stephanie Coontz Ever since the Census Bureau released figures last month showing that married-couple households are now a minority, my phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from people asking: How can we make Americans understand that marriage is the most significant emotional connection they will ever make, the one place to find social support and personal fulfillment? Where We Are Today U. Society and Values, U.
Department of State electronic journal, Voll 6, January And yet, with all the challenges and concerns about relationships, marriage and raising children, people in the United States today have higher expectations of parenting and marriage.
By Stephanie Coontz For the first time in years, households headed by single adults and unmarried couples now outnumber married-couple families. Inmarried-couple households represented more than 78 percent of American households.
By Stephanie Coontz Marriage has changed more in the last 30 years than in the previous People today have unprecedented freedom about whether, when and whom to marry, and they are making those decisions free from the huge social and economic pressures that once had them marching in lockstep.
Philadelphia Inquirer, March 15, By Stephanie Coontz With several state supreme courts due to rule on suits from same-sex couples demanding access to marriage, conservatives must be delighted to have a Justice Samuel Alito. During his confirmation hearings, Alito argued that judges should interpret the Constitution based "on the meaning that someone would have taken from the text