Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder - senshido.info
Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes The borderline's partner vicariously comes alive through the melodrama. If your partner is male, narcissistic personality disorder, substance BPD or no BPD, abuse of any kind in a relationship is unacceptable. Whether it's your partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, or other loved one with BPD, you can improve both the relationship and your own quality.
Like all personality disorders, BPD exists on a continuum, from mild to severe. To diagnose BPD, at least five of the following symptoms must be enduring and present in a variety of areas: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Unstable and intense personal relationships, marked by alternating idealization and devaluation.
Persistently unstable sense of self. Risky, potentially self-damaging impulsivity in at least two areas e. Around eight to 10 percent actually commit suicide. Chronic feelings of emptiness. Frequent, intense, inappropriate temper or anger.
Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms. The cause of BPD is not clearly known, but often there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse in childhood and possibly genetic factors. Research has shown brain changes in the ability to regulate emotions. For more, read here and here. Unlike narcissists, who often avoid therapyborderlines usually welcome it; however, before recent treatment innovations, its effectiveness had been questioned.
Today, BPD is no longer a life sentence. Studies have shown that some people recover on their own, some improve with weekly therapy, and some require hospitalization. Long-term treatment is required for maximum results, with symptom relief increasingly improving.
Partner with BPD - Borderline in the ACT
A year study showed substantial remission after 10 years. Most individuals with BPD have another co-occurring diagnosis, such as addiction or depression. Acute symptoms diminish more readily than temperamental ones, such as anger, loneliness, and emptiness and abandonment or dependency issues.
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Your family member or loved one with BPD may be extremely sensitive, so small things can often trigger intense reactions. Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways. This emotional volatility can cause turmoil in their relationships and stress for family members, partners, and friends.
Learning a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder can come as a source of both relief and hope. Does your loved one have borderline personality disorder? Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around your loved one, watching every little thing you say or do for fear of setting them off?
Do you often hide what you think or feel in order to avoid fights and hurt feelings? Does your loved one shift almost instantaneously between emotional extremes e. Are these rapid mood swings unpredictable and seemingly irrational? Does your loved one tend to view you as all good or bad, with no middle ground? Is everything always your fault? How can I communicate effectively during a crisis? When a loved one becomes reactive, they may become to insult you or make unfair accusations.
The natural response is to become defensive and to match the level of reactivity.
Partner with BPD
They struggle to gauge what is a minor issue and what is a full blown catastrophe. They interpret your defensiveness as not being valued. Instead, when they become reactive, take the time to listen without pointing out the flaws in their argument. Try not to take it personally. If the person does point out something you could improve or have done wrong, acknowledge their point, apologize, and suggest a way you can improve on the matter in the future.
What if they threaten to hurt themselves? A crisis is escalating if a person with BPD begins to threaten to harm themselves. Sometimes self-harm signs may be less overt, such as scratching the skin, eating less, coloring or shaving off hair, or isolating from others. Recognizing early signs can help prevent an emotional crisis from becoming more serious or requiring medical or psychiatric attention.
Instead, you invite the individual to talk about their emotions and allow yourself to gauge whether professional assistance is necessary. All threats of suicide should be taken seriously. Even if the behavior is attention-seeking, it can result in seriously harm or even death. This sends the message that they have an enormous amount of power over all arguments.
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
Instead, ask your family member what they would feel most comfortable doing when they threaten injury. They might want to speak with their therapist, call a hotline, or walk with you into an emergency room. Allowing them some amount of agency in of deescalating a crisis can help calm out of control emotions. What other strategies can reduce conflict?