The Rambling Curl: Fifty Abusive Moments in Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades Freed's clunkiest lines. image. Fifty Shades Freed, the final slice of the cheesy soft-porn trilogy that began with Fifty Shades of Grey, is coming to a There's only room for one sexual predator in this relationship. Love it or loathe it, Fifty Shades of Grey has made a lasting impression on many women's sex lives. And even if we finished the book months ago. 65 quotes have been tagged as fifty-shades-of-grey: E.L. James: 'Laters, baby. ' This is the man who deflowered me and wants to start a BDSM relationship'. . “ Why do women love to read about sexually aggressive billionaire bad boy.
Very disturbingly and sickly Bella says that the rest of her was decorated with patches of blue and purple. Bella then says that she concentrated on the bruises that would be the hardest to hide- her arms and her shoulders. Then Bella says that her skin marked up easily and that by the time a bruise showed she had forgotten how she had come by it. This came from the fourth best selling Twilight book,Breaking Dawn page Diane says that while Edward had tried to be as gentle with her as possible he had injured Bella while making love and that Edward is unhappy and remorseful in the face of her injuries.
And that Bella has become pregnant which is another circumstance which puts her life in danger. In her summary on page 74 Diane says that a critical examination of popular texts such as this study can reveal much about the contexts in which people manage their intimacy,as well as provide insights into the place of violence in romance and intimacy and she has the last name Wilson as one of her many research references,who have done research and criticism of the domestic abuse and sexism in Twilight and other popular media.
Diane then says that a single text has a multitude of meanings and that readers can construct multiple meanings from text. And are capable of multiple simultaneous readings of a single text. She then says that horror stories and melodrama,which she says Twilight both are in addition to romance can be viewed as functioning as fairy tales for grown-ups teaching people what is or is not permissible in sexual relationships.
She shows a picture of a long sleeve t-shirt that has what she described written on it,but the words bust,bite and bruise are in capital red letters. Oh yes; going out with her friends and getting drunk. And for the record, threatening to hit her for her behaviour isn't BDSM. This is just a threat of physical violence. Ana is too excited by the thought of being "his," that she disregards his threat and I guess EL James just hopes the reader will too.
Well not this one, EL. A little more stalking In chapter six, Christian drives Ana home from his hotel. As he parks outside her duplex, she thinks: But then, he sent the books, of course he knows where I live. What able, cell-phone tracking, helicopter-owning stalker wouldn't?
The way his behaviour is casually mocked, as though it's all a bit of a cheeky giggle really grates on me. I once had a text from someone that simply said: Your bedroom light is on. That's because stalking is gross and creepy and abusive. Isolating her from family and friends. Later on in chapter six, Ana and Christian begin to discuss the idea of a sexual relationship.
Christian - laughably, if you ask me - tells Ana that before the two of them can get down and dirty, she has to sign a non-disclosure agreement. She has to agree not to speak to anyone about what happens between them. Handy little way of ensuring that Ana has nobody to open up to about her concerns The top search result is essentially why I fear for the future of humanity. He doesn't adequately prepare her for what she's getting into and he manipulates her into agreement.
Fifty Shades of Grey Quotes
Ana has no experience of sex, let alone BDSM. She knows that it's not immediately something that appeals, thinking to herself: And part of me doesn't want to. He refers to taking her virginity as "a means to an end.
At what point am I meant to find this dickhead attractive? He has no consideration for her emotional or physical well-being when taking her virginity. Anastasia Steele is a virgin. She even goes so far as to tell Christian that she has never pleasured herself. Suffice to say, she is utterly clueless about sex and very clearly nervous. So how does our "hero" go about relieving Ana of her pesky virginity? He tells her "I'm going to fuck you now, Miss Steele He then tells her he wants her to be "sore.
He's only bothered about his own sexual needs. Who cares about hers, eh? Once the sex has happened, Christian no longer makes any effort to hide his possessive nature. During their second sexual encounter of the evening, he tells Ana: She belongs to herself. And you are a dick. And that's why you're single. In chapter 10, moments after meeting Christian's mother, Ana receives a phone call from her friend Jose. Bear in mind that Ana has no control over who calls her at any given time, yet when she returns from taking the call, Christian is demonstrably angry that she has been talking to another man.
This behaviour is so unhealthy, I know incredibly skilled doctors who wouldn't be able to save it. Christian has literally no right to be angry that she spoke to another human who just happens to have a penis. Because he's an abusive waste of printer ink. When Ana tells Christian that she wants to make a phone call, he automatically assumes it's to Jose she actually wants to call Kate and tells her: Believe it or not, we're still only on chapter Christian, having been in a lousy mood with Ana ever since Jose's phone call, tells her to hurry up and sign his BDSM sex-contract, so that "we can stop all this.
By wanting to talk to her best friend about sex, or by receiving a phone call that she didn't ask for? This isn't about BDSM, it's about wanting an unhealthy level of control over every aspect of Ana's life. In reality, a man with that degree of obsession about control doesn't make a good partner, yet EL James wants us to lap this up and fantasise about Christian as though he's God's gift to women. One rule for him, another for her In chapter 11, Ana reads the "sex-contract" Christian has given her.
One particularly worrying paragraph informs her that "The Dominant reserves the right to dismiss the submissive from his service at any time and for any reason.
The submissive may request her release at any time, such request to be granted at the discretion of the Dominant Yet again, this is a way for Christian to maintain all of the power in the relationship and deny her any of her own. Manipulation what, MORE of it?! Remember when we last saw Christian Grey? He was sulking with Ana for having the audacity to receive a phone call she didn't know she was going to get. He was withholding affection and generally making her confused and upset.
Consequently, Ana has been thinking about not signing the sex contract. This is how abusers work, people. They make you feel sad and confused about what you might have done to make them angry with you, then when they want something from you like Christian wants Ana to sign the contractthey switch gears and become all smiles, making the person they're manipulating feel special and wanted again.
The relief that floods through that person's veins is enough to make them forget the nasty behaviour that came before and the whole cycle of abuse continues. And it was this emotional abuse between Christian and Ana that really touched a nerve when I read the books. Glorifying the worst experience of my life? No respect for Ana's wishes. She sends him an email saying it was nice knowing him, then laughs about what a funny little joke it is.
He'll see the funny side, right? Christian turns up hours later at her apartment, telling her he wants to reply to her email in person. There's nothing cute about their conversation. Ana is clearly intimidated by him and thinks "If I tell him it was a joke, I don't think he'll be impressed.
If that's not a red flag, I really don't know what is. Turning up at her house when she has effectively turned him down and he's not sure whether or not it's a joke? This guy is a piece of shit. Christian turns up uninvited. He proceeds to try to seduce Ana, given that that's pretty much all he ever does. Ana tells him that she doesn't want sex and would rather talk. The abusive scum bucket who only considers his own desires.
So, upon hearing the woman he claims to care for saying a very definite "no" to sex, he replies with these words: If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you. Katherine is probably outside listening, right now. Chapter 13 features a dinner date, during which Ana and Christian discuss the finer points of the "sex contract. Ana tells him she'd rather they stayed in public, on neutral ground. He asks "do you think that would stop me?
This is the guy pop culture wants to spoon feed us with?! No thanks, I'm really not hungry. You need a new life goal. Using sex as a weapon. That's a fairly standard trope in erotica and I can see the appeal. But Christian Grey uses Anastasia's attractive to him to manipulate and intimidate her at every turn.
She even recognises it herself: His most potent weapon, used against me. When Ana tells him she doesn't want to stay overnight with him in chapter 13, he uses passionate kisses and choice words to try to manipulate her into changing her mind. Getting consent that way is coercive at best, downright abusive at worst and it's proof that Christian sees her, in Ana's own words, as "an empty vessel, to be filled at his whim.
For the love of God; if a guy is only interested in getting your rocks off so that you say yes to whatever he wants, without the slightest bit of consideration for your actual well being, he's a total cretin. Well you can't have it. You know how it is, right guys? A hot guy takes your virginity and tells you he wants to train you to be his BDSM partner and to submit to him in all things? It's a bit of a head-scratcher, right?
So in chapter 13, Ana tells Christian that she needs space to think everything through. She's in a highly emotional state as she leaves their dinner date.
And she arrives home to find that Christian is respecting her desire for some thinking-time She gets home and finds an email from him, applying yet more pressure on her to sign his bloody contract. Because hey, who cares about her emotional state, as long as he gets what he wants in the end?!
Nothing in her life is as important as HIS desires. Christian, being the most famous and important human on the entire planet, is present at Ana's graduation from college, to give a speech to the students. He doesn't think for a second that Ana might have had other things on her mind, or even that it's entirely inappropriate to grab her and lock her in a room with him so that he can manipulate her some more. Christian is bothered about one thing and one thing only: Having HIS needs met.
Instead of granting it, Christian is piling on the pressure. Ana asks him outright whether he got her drunk deliberately so that she'd agree to what he wanted and he openly admits to having done so, giving her some lousy excuse about needing her to "communicate honestly," which is apparently something she can only do when she's drunk. Which is ludicrous and anyone with half a brain cell knows that if you manipulate a drunk person in agreeing to what you want, they're not actually giving their full consent, because they're unable to do so in that kind of state.
Yep, more of it! In the same chapter, Christian begins to talk about his tortured childhood. This would be sad and heartwarming, were it not for the fact that Christian goes on to blame his current abusive behaviour on his own abusive past.
Again, this is something my ex did to me, so this was a pretty major trigger for me when I read the story. Once Ana has experienced being spanked, she finds that she has mixed feelings about it. She emails Christian and tells him that she was shocked to find herself aroused by it, as during the spanking, she felt abused. That's a pretty major word to use and a caring Dom would immediately realise that either his partner isn't up for BDSM at all, or he's going to have slow things right down, in order to make them more comfortable.
Deal with them for me? That's what a submissive would do. You're going to have to accept it, because other girls would; what's YOUR problem? As an aside, when you google "Fifty Shades cake," you can find images of 18th birthday cakes in a Fifty Shades theme.
This is the book we want young women, just becoming adults to aspire to, now. Using threats to keep Ana under his control.
And remember how he essentially told her to deal with it, rather than providing any after-care like a decent Dom would? Well Ana promises to try to deal with it and assures him that if she wanted out of their relationship, she'd have run to Alaska by now. You didn't at any time ask me to stop - you didn't use either safe word. You are an adult - you have choices.
Quite frankly, I'm looking forward to the next time my palm is ringing with pain. You're obviously not listening to the right part of your body. Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you. I can track your cell phone - remember? You have choices - when I allow you to. I don't care that you've told me you feel abused, because I can't wait to hit you again, regardless of whether you want me to.
I think it's sexy and so you should too and if you don't, it's because I know your own body better than you do. I will stalk you wherever you go, because I have the technology to do so. Christian isn't a good Dom. Christian isn't even a good human. Constantly expecting Ana to be at his beck and call. Whilst Ana is going about her life, sans Christian, she suddenly remembers that she promised to call him and has completely forgotten.
When she goes to her phone, she finds a voicemail message, in which Christian insists "you need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man. Christian is only angry because she's not making him her number one priority at all times. Ana thinks to herself: He is suffocating me. And guess what, Fifty Shades fans? Another reference to wanting to actually hurt her In chapter 18, Christian and Ana are discussing his desire to spank her again.
When Ana asks if he's going to hit her, he replies: I don't want to punish you right now. If you'd caught me yesterday evening, well that would have been a different story That's called physical abuse, guys.
And it's so far away from being sexy, I don't even know what to say to you anymore. It's roughly this far away from sexy.
Attempting to control her life - yep, he's still doing it. Whilst there, Ana announces that she's thinking of going to visit her mother. It's her decision whether she sees her mother. You have no control over whether she goes to visit her relatives or not. You are a total psychopath and it's about as sexy as pubic lice. A little later, during dinner with Christian's parents, Ana's friend Kate asks Ana how Jose was when she went out for a drink with him.
He wants to hit her in order to hurt her. Because she saw a male friend. More threats, coupled with openly acknowledging that he doesn't care about her sexual needs.
Awful Quotes From Fifty Shades of Grey
Christian decides that Ana needs to be punished. He's angry that she wants to go to see her mother. He's angry that she saw a male friend. And, to cap it all off, he's angry that she rebuffed his attempts to masturbate her at his parents' dinner table.
In front of everyone. So, he drags her off to the boat house and although Ana seems quite up for the sex at first, she's soon pleading with him not to hit her the word "pleading" is actually used. His response is to ensure that Ana knows the sex they're about to have it purely for him: Don't come or I'll spank you I want you frustrated. That's what you do to me by not talking to me; by denying me what's mine.
The thing is, it's something that should really only be a part of a consensual arrangement, where both partners know what's going on, because 2. Orgasm-denial in a non-consensual sense and Ana certainly hasn't consented to being denied her orgasm and Christian isn't doing it to build her arousal, he's doing it to punish her is a form of sexual abuse. Again, this is where this book gets personal for me and I want to throw it into a very deep river, then fish it out, dry it off and set it on fire.
'Fifty Shades of Grey': Funniest quotes | senshido.info
Are we missing the manipulation? In chapter 21, Ana has decided that she's definitely going to stay with her mother for a few days. But first, she and Christian have sex on his desk. Ana replies that yes, she'd like some space to think. And what does Christian do in response? Because that's love, am I right? It has the desired effect of course, because when Ana goes off to shower afterwards, she starts wondering what she might have done wrong, to make Christian have such a mood change.
You did nothing, Ana. You're just in an abusive relationship. Tea won't abuse you. Take your pick, but I'd like to throw this mug against the wall and dance amongst its shattered splinters. If I'm starting to sound a little flippant at this point, it's because it's pretty much the only thing stopping me from sticking pins in my eyes and screaming "WHY?
Anyway, we're up to chapter 22 and Ana is leaving to see her mother in Georgia. Christian has upgraded her to first class, which is a nice thing to do, except I don't recall her giving him her flight information, so is this another case of stalking? She messages him from the airport to thank him for the upgrade, as it has meant that she has been able to have a massage from "a very pleasant young man. Next time you'll be in the cargo hold, bound and gagged in a crate. Believe me when I say that attending to you in that state will give me so much more pleasure than merely upgrading your ticket.
She can't tell whether he's joking or not, because she believes him to have the capacity to actually carry out that threat. Following Christian's "joke" or was it? She also reminds him that the reason she has come to Georgia is because she finds it difficult to think clearly when she's with Christian and she needs some space.
This is where a good partner would think "okay, I'll give her a few days' space and hopefully when she comes back, we'll take up from where we left off. He ends his message by promising to stay away from her whilst she's visiting her mum, which shouldn't be hard, seeing as it's over two thousand miles away. But this is Christian we're talking about So of course, before she has even been gone for 48 hours it may not even be 24, I can't recallChristian turns up unannounced at the bar where Ana is drinking with her mum.
Because he's an obsessive, deranged stalker. And we're meant to find it lovely and sweet and passionate that he has followed her thousands of miles when she has explicitly asked him for space, because that's how EL James has Ana react, once she's over the shock. Ana asked for space.
Christian once again put his own needs over hers. He stalked her family. This isn't sexy or romantic. It's controlling and dangerous and seeing it written as romance makes me feel physically sick.
Oh and the best bit? She hasn't done anything to warrant him coming thousands of miles to shout at her, but it's her gut-reaction that she must have done something wrong. And that's because of his manipulation in the past.