(A second edition of this book titled, The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple: New Approaches to Marital Therapy, 2nd Edition, published by Brunner-Routledge in . A "high conflict person" means someone with BPD/NPD who is not the A high conflict relationship relationship" means you and the person who has traits of. I had been in a 29 year stable and relatively happy relationship since I was . thought she was BPD I now believe she is NPD or a combination.
Of course, for her I was just a trophy indeed and at the very peak of my addiction to her, she went cold. Three years later she told me she would take me back in a minute.
Funny thing was she was a massage girl, and I checked every client.
BPD/NPD - Did this really happen to me ? - SANE Forums
That was her control. Some gusy might have thought they were her boyfriend, and they were the ones being fooled. Truly we are at opposite ends of the spectrum. She was able to run through men like nothing… not me. With my ex and other narcs. So regardless of how wonderful, gorgeous or intelligent one may be to the entire universe. I consider them like trophy hunters and we are the moose or deer. They may talk about the day they caught the BIG one.
The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment (Book Review)
And no, they do not throw back the babies. A borderline is like a trophy hunter who approaches the animal unsure, walks up and pets it, feeds it some food and even tells it how sorry it is they were there to hunt it. The problem begins when the animal begins to walk away… Ed Quote: What planet are you living on where borderlines only start cheating and lying and abusing their partners when their partner wants to leave them?
You do realise that all those terrible things you described your Ex girlfriend doing can be found in abundance in borderline women right? But even if that were actually true it would still be absolutely delusional or incredibly ignorant if you think that those with borderline personality are the way you described. If I were to make your analogy more accurate. It would be like befriending an an animal and initially treating it very well. Then after a while you get bored of it but still keep it around, but you start to hate and resent it.
You start to hurt it and get angry with it, but you flip back and forth to keep it confused and unsure what to think. Over time you increase the abuse which it learns to accept as normal and so desperate for that love it saw at the beginning that they look forward to the smallest displays of affection.
How are yu coping with this now that you know would love to talk to you Pingback: Cerebral narcissist, covert narcissist, malignant narcissist, invert narcissist.
If you listen to endless numbers of people describing narcissist and borderlines and not be able to tell the behaviours apart, then the reason for the distinction becomes arbitrary. BPD should be, and is, just another form of narcissism.
Where BPD should be seen as a sub category where not all narcissists are borderlines, but where all borderlines are narcissists.
The Sex Lives of the Borderline and Narcissist
I have to correct something in this article. The classic narcissist still hates themselves, just as the borderline does. The borderline has a similar cognitive dissonance. This is instead usually expressed as a more conscious feeling of worthlessness.
They require validation to show they are worth something and make that empty feeling go away. Just like the classic narcissist, the borderline also only cares about attaining their supply of validation. And if people are still going to disagree with this, the fact that you find a consistent pattern with all stories of npd and bpd behaviour that prove this to be true disagree with you.
But I bet the truth is more likely one of two things. I do not believe they are a disorder so much as a naturally reoccurring and intended personality type — we are humans — but still quite animal. Yet still the most glaring aspect — most animals, especially humans, need structure…. I have to say the world would be much much less interesting without these people…and quite honestly much less of a world considering the accomplishments of those who do not allow others limits to impede them.
As a woman I am fascinated by the rigid arrogant way a surgeon carefully performs massive alterations to other people in a believe they can save their life or improve upon their beauty….
A personality disorder hence the word disorder requires impairments in various areas of life. The asshole narcissistic surgeon is not NPD unless, for example, he suddenly decides he will do brain surgery for a patient despite not being qualified to do that. Or status showing up to work drunk. BB Jones I absolutly agree…there seems to be a belief that if you dont have the same values and capabilities as someone who has a psychology degree then you have a disorder…that needs to be treated.
I also have a partner with Borderline Personality Disorder amd Anorexia who had become hooked on Meth for many years…my view of her was pretty much as per the book with periods of mania and the drugs and Anorexia was her mechanism to remove the lows and anxiety.
She is very smart and plays the therapists she has seen like puppets to get what she wants…the drs have always tried various medications that have failed because they see the mania as a problem…the dont seem to see the obvious issue with treating it, in that its like she has been watching 4k TV with surround sound and dining out at the finest restaurants and they are trying to get her to listen to an AM radio with a peanut butter sandwich.
She has developed a trust with me because I dont see these things as a disorder but a beautiful tallent. When she starts to see the world in an anxious state of mind…we have a cuddle, I tell her how amazing she is, stroke her and calm het down…we then have sex…mind blowing lying there with your head spinning, oh wow, what just happened sort of sex and then cuddle and feel like we are both lucky…anxiety: The more submissive she is…the happier she is, im no sadist dominant guy etc.
I am at the top of my profession, a company director, highly innovative etc. And am considered to have a very high IQ and EQ….My BPD / NPD Relationship Pt 1.
Express your love and caring and don't trigger abondonment. I maintained in a tacid relationship with my girlfriend although in her mind she insisted we were no longer in a relationship.
She would text and call me mulitple times a day. Ask me to come over and then more often and not seduce me to sleep with her. I loved her immensely and our chemistry was intense. She was in no way money driven. The abuse was still there, but I could escape and I had strategies to deal with them. This continued for a few months. We had not been together for this length of time since I lived with her. The abuse was crazy intense.
She became physically abusive. It was all rants from her. I recorded a few of these exchanges without her knowing. They are intensely upsetting to listen to. On the way back from Merimbula she acted out unebelievably. Opening the car door when we were moving. Running up and down the medium strip, running off into the forest when I pulled over. I tried to act calm and not react to these tantrums.
In Dandenong we stopped for petrol and she went inside and bought Mcdonalds. She spilt the drink over the floor of the car, and as we were driving started pushing french fries into my ear and sitting them on my should saying I had a chip on my shoulder. I asked her to stop, and then she rubbed the hamburger bun through my hair. Clearly looking for me to react.
The Sex Lives of the Borderline and Narcissist • Great Plains Skeptic
I don't know how I held my composure together but I did. On returning to Richmond I tried to drop her off. She wouldn't leave the car, and just kept hurtling abuse at me. I opened the door for her. She ki cked me and punched my chest, and when I asked her to stop she told me to stop being a baby.
I eventually managed to coax her out of the car and left. She ran after me in the street yelling abuse at me. I let her into mine and then she started abusing me.
She had a slurpee and spilt it all over my bed. She tipped me out of bed skinning my elbow on the floor in the process. I asked her to leave. I gave her a spare key to her apartment and she wanted me to come back and sleep with her because she was really distressed.
She sent me a text the next day with photos of scratches and bruises she had no doubt received during her rampages on the trip home and said that now I was a physical abuser as well as a psychological one. I didnt react to this taunt. I was so upset. The police sergeant called me and said that she was so appalled by the recordings and that no relationship should have to exist with such abuse.
She knew I was really struggling with it. I went to court hearing and allowed the AVO to stand without admitting to anything until the mentions hearing which was scheduled for 2 weeks later. On the advice of my lawyer and the police I put in a cross order and made a statement to the police of what happened.
She didn't come to my AVO hearing. Wouldn't response to any police contact. Door knocking or phone calls. The police wanted to exclude her from my apartment as a condition on the AVO which would have made her homeless.