Book Summaries: Mars and Venus on a Date - John Gray
Without an updated approach to dating and relationships, we mistakenly concluded . Reading Mars and Venus on a Date together during the various stages of. Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to soul mate; And advice on creating a loving and mutually fulfilling relationship. I will explain the five stages now but my book, Mars and Venus On A stage is the time to focus on one person and give that relationship a.
She often senses the man pulling away and worries if she did something wrong or if he is with someone else. When a man comes on strong in Stage One and then pulls back in Stage Two, a woman sometimes feels like chasing him or giving him more. This can sabotage the relationship. As she is looking for his reassurance, she often makes one of two common mistakes: She asks him where the relationship is going. She tries to win him over by being too pushy or giving up herself.
Both of these approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right man for her. Instead of letting him continue to please her, her attempts to please him can cause him to lose interest. If and when she is not sure where her relationship is going, she should find support from her friends. This gives her time and space to think about whether he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship. The Challenge The challenge in Stage Two of dating is to recognize that uncertainty is normal during the dating process.
Without a good understanding of the uncertainty stage, it is easy for a man to drift from one partner to another and for a woman to make the mistake of pursuing a man more than he is pursuing her. Exclusivity The Third Stage of Dating begins when both people feel a desire to date each other exclusively. Both of them want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship without competition.
They want to relax and have more time to share with one partner. The Exclusivity Stage begins with a conversation and a commitment to stop seeing other people. Exclusivity must not be assumed without talking about it and coming to an agreement about it.
Many people believe that if they are sexually involved, then they are exclusive. However, sex is not a requirement for exclusivity.John Gray : Law of Attraction & Relationships - PART 4
Exclusivity for Him When a man moves into the exclusivity stage, he can often grow complacent in the relationship. He may assume that he has done all he needs to do to win a willing partner. This can cause him to stop doing the things that made him so attractive to her in the beginning. This is not the time for him to sit home and assume that the work of building a romance is over. He needs to continue to take the time to explore what she likes and plan romantic dates together.
Romance fuels her attraction for him. If he relaxes too much, she may stop responding to him like the way she did during the first two stages of dating. Exclusivity for Her After she has agreed to be exclusive, her greatest challenge is asking him for support. She often assumes that he will start to do things without being asked. Just as his romantic gestures reassure her that she is special, her requests encourage him to continue giving her what she needs.
She becomes more attractive to him when he knows what she wants and he feels confident that he can fulfill her. She should continue receiving with positive responses. She may want to do more but when she feels she is giving more, she can lose her appreciation and attraction for him.
The Challenge The challenge in the Third Stage of Dating is to avoid becoming too comfortable and stop doing the little things that make the other person feel special. He needs to continue being romantic, planning dates and chasing her. She needs to ask for what she wants, and be receptive and responsive to his efforts. Intimacy Once both people have experienced chemistry on all four levels — physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, they are ready to experience the real and lasting love that can grow in the Fourth Stage of Dating: This is the time to relax and just get to know each other on a deeper, more personal level.
She should continue to open up more and share her thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities. He should continue to express his love, show more interest and desire, and look forward to regular physical intimacy. Both of them should grow closer and feel the joy of a deeper emotional connection and increased physical contact. Tips for Men The biggest challenge for him during this stage is to understand that she will show more vulnerability in the relationship.
Her emotions will tend to rise and fall — like a wave. In Mars and Venus on a Date, you are brought through stage one, which is attraction, and then onto stage two categorized as uncertainty. Stage three and four deal with exclusivity and intimacy. The last stage that John Gray introduces you to is engagement, which goes into how to make up with each other so that your relationship doesn't lead to a break up and he explains the different reasons why men and women get married.
What I liked about the book is that it is intended for both men and women. It helps you to understand how the opposite sex feels. No one understands the opposite sex but after I read the book, I had more insight into how each sex thinks and feels about dating and relationships.
I didn't think I could utilize this book but it came in handy while I was dating. With a little bit of experimenting, I was able to see what John Gray was talking about in his book. It is written with good intentions and with a good heart from a man who has produced a total of seven books on relationships between men and women. He has a Ph.
I enjoyed reading this book because in a humorous and thoughtful fashion, it touches on all aspects of dating and explains the reasoning why men and women do what they do especially after that first date. It's fascinating to read about how you can attract and choose the right person that is meant for you.
Quite often a man feels how much he loves a woman when he is directly faced with the possibility of losing her. It is simply because he needs distance to feel his longing and desire. Men Are Like Blowtorches, Women Are Like Ovens -Often a man will suddenly become physically attracted to a woman and then just as quickly lose interest. He is like a blowtorch that can heat up really fast and then turn off in an instant.
Women are like ovens. They slowly heat up and slowly cool off. This chemistry cannot be created. A woman must remember that she is not that special, because there are a lot of women to whom a man can feel physically attracted. There are only a few women for whom he can feel all three levels of chemistry. It is then that a woman is most special to a man.
At this point, she may discover that she also feels physical attraction. It might happen slowly or it might happen very suddenly. Quite often it happens when he gives her a kiss. When a shy man postpones the kiss, it may actually postpone or even prevent a woman from feeling her physical attraction. This is a clear sign that this woman is attracted to her fantasy of the man and not the man himself.
She is attracted to the illusion of who she thinks he is. A man needs to remember that a woman is like an oven that slowly warms up. This attraction has nothing to do with whether a woman is his soul mate. When a man finds his soul mate, she is rarely the type he was most attracted to at the more undiscerning level. Level Two for Men: Emotional Attraction He starts to find that he likes some better than others. When he experiences a woman, he will not just feel physical attraction, but will also sense how much he likes her.
Quite often, opposite personalities are attracted to each other. Level Three for Men: Mental Attraction In level three he is attracted to her character as well: The degree to which a woman has developed aspects of her character does not interfere with making her attractive to a man.
She is most attractive when she is herself and there is mental chemistry. Level Four for Men: His love recognizes that this person, though imperfect, is perfect for him. This decision is not based on a list of conditions. The soul just knows. Mental Attraction A woman imagines what a man is like and is attracted to something is his character.
Just as men with a low level of discernment long to be with women they see in magazines, women at their lowest level of discernment long to be with the men in romance novels.
Level Two for Women: Emotional Attraction Here she likes some better than others. Even without knowing a man, she can already tell in advance that he is not her type and she will not date him.
Through trial and error she eventually discovers the kind of personality in a man with which she is most compatible and feels safe being herself. Level Three for Women: Physical Attraction Here she wants not just to be touched by his mind and heart, but also to be touched physically.
When a man holds her hand, put his arm around her, or gives her a kiss, a lot of physical attraction is felt. Just as a man at level one longs to touch, a woman at level three longs to be touched.
Level Four for Women: Soul Attraction Her open heart makes her capable of eventually seeing the good in her partner, even though he is neither perfect nor able to fulfill all her needs.
A mature man who continues to date any woman who seems physically attractive, friendly, or sexually responsive may never find real, lasting love. A mature woman who continues to date any man who seems interested in her looks but not her mind as well will continue to be disappointed.
The Five Stages of Dating
If you are at the lowest level of discernment, then dating anyone will help you grow in discernment. Once you have already developed your discernment, you lose something if you look back. It offers us the opportunity to prepare ourselves for finding and recognizing our soul mate.
Each time you are increasing your ability to discern the right person for you. By ending relationships with a more loving and nonjudgmental attitude, we will continue to be attracted to the people who are closer to what we want. The Dynamics of Male and Female Desire -Women mistakenly follow the advice that if you want someone to be interested in you, you should be interested in him. When a woman is really interested in a man, he tends to become more interested in himself.
If she listens attentively, he will generally talk more. If she seeks to please his every need, he will gladly let her know what more she can do. When he senses that she is not happy, she becomes less interesting to him and the attraction lessens.
If a woman is receptively interested in a man, it will generate his active interest in her. When she considers his request, his confidence is increased. The way a woman makes him feel good is by creating opportunities for him to succeed in truly fulfilling her needs.
Not only is it not necessary for her to give back, but giving back can also prevent him from being more interested. On her planet, it is just god manners to give back immediately. After a while he becomes interested in someone else, who does promise to bring out the best in him.
When a woman is receptive, she gives a man the confidence to take the risks necessary to impress her. If she makes the mistake of trying to impress him, then he will automatically relax and let her do the risking.
Mars vs. Venus: Stage 2- Uncertainty - senshido.info Community Forums
Men become actively interested when they are figuring out what to do, what to give, how to provide, how to achieve a goal, how to impress someone, and how to get the love, acceptance, and admiration they want. These qualities tend to make him much more attractive to women.
On the other hand, when a woman is being receptive, her best and most feminine qualities have a chance to shine. Men Pursue and Women Flirt -To be most attractive, a man needs to do little things with an attitude of confidence and conviction. A woman needs to respond to the things he does in a receptive but not fully convinced manner.
A man should not get the idea that she is after him, but that she is open to finding out if she likes him. Women enjoy it most when a man takes the risk to impress her rather than waiting for her to do something to impress him. Even if you are not coherent, she will be impressed because you took the risk to pursue her.
It is relatively easy for a woman to speak when she has strong feelings, but for a man, the stronger the feelings, the less he is able to think and speak. How to Compliment the Opposite Sex? The bottom line is that men want to be acknowledged, while women want to be adored. His affection for her increases because he feels so proud.
Instead of focusing on what a woman does or how she makes him feel, he should ideally focus on finding positive adjectives and nouns to describe her directly. The more special the adjective, the more special she feels. By appreciating the movie, the play, the singing, the food, the decorations, the service, the weather, and so on, she indirectly appreciates him, since he feels he provided it.
Men Advertise and Women Share -Men talk much about themselves. He confidently assumes that his expertise and competence are impressing her, while in reality she is being turned off—feeling ignored, left out, or unimportant to him.
Every man instinctively knows that his success is based on three things: To a woman it appears as if he cares only about number one, himself. Every woman instinctively knows that her ability to find fulfillment is based on three things: A man makes the best impression by asking questions and listening. She should not wait for him to ask questions or wait to be invited; instead, she should just listen for a few moments or minutes and then start in. If he is not taking the time to listen, it is probably because he is advertising.
This means he is interested and very receptive to being interrupted. In either case, she ends up feeling neglected and annoyed by his self-centeredness. It takes the pressure off of him and lets him relax and get to know her.
Men are happiest when a woman opens up and shares, while women enjoy carrying the conversation as long as they feel a man is interested. He senses that if he is too excited or interested he may compromise his value to her.
Commonly a man thinks by not calling he is ending the relationship gracefully. He likes to think things over a lot before he gets involved. To Call or not to Call -Most women have not yet learnt the art of being assertive and feminine at the same time. When they get married and she wants to relax and simply be herself, he loses interest.
In some cases, once they settle down and she stops pursuing him, he finally gets the opportunity to feel the desire to please her and pursue. This is not always the case, though; more often he just loses interest. With an understanding of men, there are other options. To make the time pass more quickly she has two options: There is no greater mistake than stop your life for a man.
A man is most interested and attracted to a woman whose life is full, but who happily makes some room for him. He is less attracted if she needs him to fill up her life and schedule. There are seven guidelines for calling a man: It is generally a mistake to call a man and be upset with him for not calling. Men complain about women who want to talk about their relationship. Instead of asking questions about your relationship, use F. O for your information only statements.