Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship - PsychAlive
Sometimes you are engaged in a relationship where you can't stop thinking about your lover. You get a phone call and you hope it's your. Too often people fail to see their part in a relationship dynamic. They see themselves as victims, not recognizing their power to improve the relationship. Power principle - Taking charge in relationships. friendly, but not puppy-dog- excited every time she walks into a room, you'll retain control.
If they respect you, it will mean a lot to them that you are upfront and honest. By communicating clearly, you will show that you are in control. This will also make you feel more empowered. It is healthy to have your own hobbies and friends to spend your time with outside of the relationship. This is a good way of how to be in control in a relationship because it shows that you are comfortable with yourself.
Use examples and stand up for what you expect in the relationship. Know your limits and talk them clearly to your partner. Additionally, make sure your partner knows that no means no and validates your decision with supportive honest statements.
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Show your partner that you deserve the best. This type of confidence will help you have more power in a relationship.
If you are struggling with confidence, try to remember what is most important to you and that you are valuable and deserving. For example, our partner may very well have a condescending way of relating to us at times that is understandably irritating. You treat me like an idiot. Stop acting so superior.
He felt that he was just trying to be helpful, listened to her request to stop directing her, and then got yelled at for no reason.
How to Be in Control in a Relationship
His response was to get quiet and sulk for the rest of the day, even after his wife apologized. Both people in this interaction were reacting to something real in the present, but they were also unintentionally triggering old feelings in each other.
His giving her directions ignited feelings she had experienced in her past with a controlling, critical mother. We often experience our lives through a filter of our own histories, insecurities, worries, expectations, or inner critic. It can leave us feeling easily criticized or slighted by specific things — thinking someone is angry with us, for example.
We put our own spin, interpretation, or projection onto the world around us. Therefore, we often react irrationally. Couples, in particular, have a tendency to act in this way. Of course, our partner will sometimes say and do things that upset us. When we act out or take the low road in responding, we usually just feel bad. We turn against ourselves and the other person. And we rarely get what we want. Essentially, we are back in our past, reacting with intensity that has nothing to do with the present.
And though we can never control another person, when we change our reaction, we make it much more likely to shift the dynamic, soften the other person, and keep the interaction between two adults in their lives today.
Gain Control Over Your Relationship Without Being Controlling | Vivala
For example, returning to the couple who got into an argument while driving, the woman was determined to take a different approach the next time they had a potentially heated interaction. It'll keep her somewhat unsure of your feelings for her and, accordingly, she'll not be as likely to make demands on you.
So play your cards close to your hand in the beginning.
Don't spill your guts over how happy you were that she agreed to give you her number, and don't call or e-mail her back the instant she contacts you. Acting overeager right away will only place her in a dominant role from the very start. By being friendly, but not puppy-dog-excited every time she walks into a room, you'll retain control.
Have some dignity, man. Rule Bedroom Politics Bedroom politics is an area where women have traditionally had an advantage. Just like the Greek play Lysistratain which women withhold sex to force their men to end a war, ladies very often use sex as a playing card to get what they want, either implicitly or explicitly.